WWE Raw Recap - 27th November


The broadcast starts with a vignette of Kane trash talking Braun Strowman. Oh good, I guess we're getting more of this ridiculously boring feud. Great.

The actual show starts with our new Intercontinental Champion, Roman Reigns. Cole says he's "proudly carrying" the IC belt. He's actually carrying it like he couldn't give less of a damn about it if he tried. The commentary team put over Reigns as a Grand Slam champion, completely refusing to acknowledge that Dean Ambrose beat him to a Grand Slam comfortably. A section of the crowd (who absolutely weren't planted, were they Vince?) chant "you deserve it" at Roman as he rambles about being Intercontinental Champion. He rants a bit about how he's a fighting champion and says if anyone wants his Championship, then step up and take it. This brings out the Miztourage, and Bo Dallas isn't a happy boy. I demand Bo becomes Intercontinental Champion at once. Bo doesn't challenge Roman, instead the Miztourage bring out Elias. That'll do I guess. Elias and Roman agree to an IC match, and Roman tries to banter off Elias by talking about Curtis Axel's neck brace. Roman's chat game is still weak.
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Seth Rollins vs Cesaro

As Rollins comes to the ring, the commentary team make the first of roughly eighty seven references to this match being one-on-one, due to Sheamus being on his annual sabbatical in Ireland, and Dean Ambrose being on his honeymoon. RIP Kayfabe. While Rollins comes out to his own singles music instead of The Shield's, Cesaro still comes out to the music of The Bar. Continuity. The match starts with some nice chain wrestling; meanwhile, Corey Graves tells Booker he's chatting shit. Booker is always chatting shit. Cesaro has really varied his moveset since turning heel, there's basically no crowd-pleasing in there and, later on in the match, he only swings Rollins around once before applying the Sharpshooter. I appreciate good consistent heel work, well done Cesaro. Rollins goes to the top rope but Cesaro catches him in mid air and spins him around into a Backbreaker for a two count. Rollins continues to sell the damage from the Backbreaker, being unable to get Cesaro up for a Suplex. Rollins dodges an attack on the apron leaving Cesaro with his head through the ropes and jumps properly high to land a great looking leg drop to the back of Cesaro's head. Cesaro heels it up again, poking Rollins in the eye with the referee distracted then rolling him up for a two count. Cesaro puts Rollins in the Sharpshooter I mentioned earlier; it'd have been nice to see Rollins tap out here, purely to really sell the damage to his back that Cesaro has spent the entire match applying. A few reversals go back and forth before Cesaro goes for a springboard uppercut; Rollins catches him with a kick, then hits the King's Landing knee for the win. Good, solid match. In an era of heels that try to play the "cool heel" role, it's nice to see Cesaro actually adapting his moveset and mannerisms to act like more of a dickhead.
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We head backstage, with the Cruiserweight faces whining at Kurt Angle about The Zo Train. Kurt has absolutely no idea what a "Zo Train" is. Kurt sets up two separate fatal four-way matches, the winners of which will face each other to become number one contender to Enzo's Cruiserwight Championship. A very short segment but it did it's job.
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Titus O'Neill vs Samoa Joe

Titus O'Neill gets the jobber entrance. That bodes well. Titus explodes out of the gates, putting in a lot of early offence. He makes the rather silly mistake of slapping Joe in the face, which turns Joe from his usual vaguely irritated to full-on Joe Smash. Titus lands a bit more offence before Joe catches him with a straight right and puts him in the Coquina Clutch. That's the end of that. Apollo Crews tries to defend TItus, which ends in Apollo switfly being killed by the Coquina Clutch too. This was a really weird match; why on God's earth is Titus O'Neill getting the vast majority of offence in a match against Samoa Joe in the year of our lord 2017? Nobody knows. Anyway, Corey Graves tries to save the situation by talking about how he's absolutely shit scared of Samoa Joe.
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Sasha Banks, Mickie James & Bayley vs Paige, Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville

Alexa Bliss is on commentary. Sasha comes out first, then stands in the ring like a mug while neither Mickie James or Bayley come out when their music hits. Alexa says Mickie is probably taking a nap. More old jokes about a 38 year old, yay. Paige And Pals come out and Paige is in particularly patronising form as she shows Mickie and Bayley injured on the Titantron. Apparently this now makes it into a handicap match, and not a case of Kurt Angle coming out to say "what the fuck no it isn't". Great job, Mister General Manager. Paige rants a bit about doing what she did because she started the Women's Revolution and that nobody has acknowledged her for it. Fair. Paige says that her new heel stable is called Absolution. I will fit in at least one Muse reference to every single review of Raw I write from here on out. Sonya Deville does a sterling job of ignoring the knobs in the crowd shouting "WHAT?" over her promo, good work Sonya. Kick their teeth down their throats next time. When Sonya is finished talking, Paige very briefly mocks the "WHAT?" prats before telling Sasha that either she's against them, or she can join them. Sasha decides she doesn't want to Sing For Absolution (Muse reference of the week) and gets the shit kicked out of her for her troubles. Solid enough segment; Rose and Deville need a bit more time in promo class but they were alright, and Deville handled a bad crowd well.
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Bray Wyatt vs Matt Hardy

I completely forgot Bray Wyatt was back and I was happy in my ignorance. He carries on doing what he was before he took time off; cutting rambling promos, saying far too much and yet actually SAYING nothing at all. Bray goes on about "they" telling us what to do and how we're all dead. If I'm not dead, I wish I was after this garbage fire of a promo. Shut the hell up Bray. He shouts "you're all dead!" repeatedly until Matt Hardy saves us all by hitting his music so Wyatt packs it in. The match actually begins during a commercial break, which should give you an idea of how little WWE care about it. Literally nothing happens until Matt hits a running Bulldog. Hardy goes off the middle rope; Wyatt catches him and goes for a Uranage but Hardy reverses and hits a Side Effect for a weak two count. Wyatt counters a Twist of Fate but Hardy grounds him before going up top for a Moonsault, but there's nobody home on landing. Wyatt hits Sister Abigail for the win. The crowd don't give anything approaching to a fuck and nor do I. Wyatt goes away and Matt sits in the corner, getting more and more upset before starting to shout "DELETE!" over and over again. Cole asks if we're "witnessing a Matt Hardy breakdown" like the patronising arsehole he is. Dull match, Wyatt needs to go away and be completely repackaged; the only saving grace is the first REAL indication from WWE that they're about to switch Matt Hardy to his BROKEN gimmick, or at least WWE's variation on the name. (in the days following Raw, reports have come out that Impact are no longer disputing the Broken gimmick, and are relinquishing ownership of the gimmick to Matt Hardy.)
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Jason Jordan is backstage crying to his dad. We're getting Jason Jordan vs Kane later on. That match will have absolutely no interference whatsoever, I'm sure.
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Rich Swann vs Noam Dar vs Akira Tozawa vs Ariya Daivari

Absolutely none of the competitors get their entrance shown. There's an indicator of WWE's dedication to the Cruisweweight division. Daivari and Dar gang up on Tozawa while the commentary team talk absolute drivel about how much money being on the Zo Train must make you. Swann hits a brilliant looking somersault suicide dive to the other three on the outside. Daivari cuts Swann off in the ring with a nice looking Spinebuster. Dar and Daivari go to double Superplex Tozawa off the top rope but Swann sneaks up and plants all three of them. Daivari hits a frog splash on Swann for a two count then immediately gets planted with a Shining Wizard by Tozawa. Dar hits his running Enzuigiri on Tozawa but Swann pulls Tozawa out. Swann kicks Dar in the face then lands the Phoenix Splash for the win.  I don't understand the logic of putting Swann in a number one contenders match; he's already been Champion, and I want Noam Dar to rule the world.
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Roman Reigns (c) vs Elias (Intercontinental Championship match)

Elias opens with a bit of guitar noodling, then asks the crowd who wants to walk with Elias. He gets a bit of a pop, so he turns it around and tells the crowd they don't deserve to hear his song. The crowd go wild. He then says no, I'll do it for the Miz. The crowd fucking hate him now. I genuinely love Elias, and his "...now I'm gonna have to start over." chat is great. Elias brings out the Miztourage to play another song; Bo and Axel both play the Harmonica and it's pretty great to be honest. Elias starts to lead into another song which brings out a chant of "We want Roman!" from some of the crowd. "No we don't!" reply a very loud alternate section. Banter. Anyway out comes Roman. Best segment of the show so far.
The match starts 50/50 while Corey Graves reverts back to chatting shit about Elias like he used to. Graves hates Elias. Good throwback. Elias continues with a lotof methodical offence; it works well for Elias' heel persona, but the crowd loses interest with a million Chinlocks. A Miztourage distraction lets Elias take Reigns down for a fairly close two-count. Reigns sparks Bo Dallas out; Curtis Axel tries to reason with Reigns, pointing out that he's in a neck brace. Reigns responds by delivering a Spear to Axel. On the outside. Just a reminder; Roman Reigns, the face, is delivering his finisher to someone who is clearly badly injured and not even in the match. Okay Vince. Elias takes advantage and lands a nice Elbow Drop for a two count. Elias takes Reigns up on his shoulders and lands wicked spinning sit-out Powerbomb for a very, VERY close two-count. That looked magnificent. A minute or so of not a lot happens before Reigns hits a Spear and wins. Decent match; Elias looked great and Reigns looked the gutsy underdog Vince desperately wants him to be. Reigns leaves the ring but gets absolutely murdered by Samoa Joe with the Coquina Clutch on the ramp. I approve wholeheartedly. It takes about seventy three people to restrain Joe, give or take. Great ending. Give Joe every belt possible.
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Asuka vs Dana Brooke

Dana says in a pre-taped interview that Asuka is a slow starter. When the bell rings, Dana sprints at Asuka and immediately gets put in the Asuka Lock, taps out and loses. I mean immediately. That first sentence took longer to type than the match took to start and end. WWE appear to have finally figured out how to book Asuka; have her kill everyone. The dictionary definition of a Squash match. Asuka has a dance in the ring until Paige's music hits. Asuka's face goes from "having a party" to "excuse me what I will fucking kill you". The crowd appear to have noticed, as a chant of "Asuka's gonna kill you" rises up. Absolution vaguely back off, which makes Asuka piss herself laughing. As it should, three-on-one and you're shitting it. Great heel stable. The segment ends with Asuka backing out of the ring while refusing to turn her back on Absolution. Strange segment, Paige & Pals look weak for not destroying Asuka.
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Jason Jordan vs Kane

We begin with Jason Jordan holding a microphone. I'm out. He talks about "the haters on social media". This is not how to get him over, fuck this nonsense. Michael Cole reacts to Jordan putting Kane in the corner as if Jordan is delivering a Jackhammer to Andre the Giant. Kane lobs Jordan over the rope, his knee gives out and Jordan is counted out. What was the fucking point. Kane carries on smashing Jordan until Finn Balor makes the save for some reason.
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Finn Balor vs Kane

This match got announced in the commerial break. Of course it did. Balor tries to take the fight to Kane but quickly gets ruined in an almost entirely non-descript match, ending in Kane getting disqualiied for using a chair. Kane continues to annihilate Balor with the chair. Finn Balor is jobbing to Kane in 2017. Fuck WWE. BRRRAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUNNN makes the save to the surprise of absolutely fucking nobody, Kane smacks Braun with the chair but Braun completely no-sells it. Banter. Strowman attacks Kane with the steel steps, then stops Kane from begging and squirming away to deliver a Powerslam onto the steps. Braun then twice repeats what Kane did to him, ramming Kane's throat into the chair propped on the steps. I've not heard a crowd so disinterested in a Braun Strowman segment for a long time; hopefully its a rogue crowd, not the fans getting bored of Braun due to nonsense feuds like this. Braun stands tall to end the broadcast.
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Summary

A decent if unspectacular broadcast; the only real talking points are Samoa Joe taking out Reigns to signify a challenge for the Intercontinental Championship (don't call it a belt, dammit! says Vince in my mind) and Matt Hardy seemingly becoming woken/broken. Nothing massive to report match-wise, Rollins & Cesaro easily had the best match of the night.

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